two thousand sixteen

I have two resolutions this year.

Be more productive.
And take care of myself.

The first one is probably typical. I have a terrible tendency to put things off, leave things until I feel like I'm capable of taking them on - procrastinating. I wait until something absolutely needs to be completed in the next twelve hours and then race to finish what needs to be done. Not the best habit, if you don't already know. I got the most adorably designed planner for Christmas that, hopefully, will assist me here.

And then the second one. Taking care of myself. Because I was racking my brain for resolutions, things I wanted to accomplish and I was overwhelmed by all the things I wanted to do. All the things I wanted to be. Knowing how far I was from an elusive image of a supposedly better me. I can't force myself into something I'm not, something I'm not going to be. I've been trying to do it for years, trying to make myself adapt and cope and catch up with everyone, Loathing myself for the laundry list of accommodations I need, my thank you sounding more like I'm sorry. I can't do that to myself. This is the year I plan on slowing down, giving myself the time I need to grow and improve and accomplish and heal, before launching myself into anything else.

I'm turning eighteen this year. Yikes. Progressing towards adulthood makes me nervous, but I trust that I'll be prepared for it when I need to be.

2016. I'm here for this.